Dear God, 
I just woke up.
So far I have not done anything today.

But soon, I will brush my hair and teeth.
     I will show off my best face
           and my best work,
                desperately trying to prove myself to a world
                whose systems
                will eventually forget and replace me.

From dust I have come, and to dust I will return.

And that would be the end of my story,
      were it not for Your baffling love
      for my particular self,
      for my Beth-ness.

                When I die and decompose,
                      you will hold my memory
                      and breathe your Spirit into this dust again.

Your love for me -
     the only source of my true worth -        
       is also the only thing I cannot earn.

Yet I am hardwired for earning,
      for proving,
             for being needed,

So, in this season,   
   on this day…

Strip away every distraction I use
      to numb myself from the failure
           of my every attempt to earn
                 what is already freely mine.

Keep me quiet and listening;
      adjust my rhythm to yours;
                work your patience in me.

Show me the cross I must pick up to follow you;
      show me how it is different from
                the burdens you wish to lift from me.

Teach me submission to the life-demands of love,
      teach me how you loved and forgave
           even when you were crushed and betrayed.    
             I want to learn to love
                    even when it looks like losing,
                           even when it feels like dying.

I know I am powerless
      to overhaul all the sin-systems of this world.       
              Heck, I cannot even prevent
                      the expansion of my own ego
                              as I pray this prayer.

Forgive me.

Help me.

Free me from myself.

 Empty me  
     so there is room
            for you to fill me.